The three magical words every Boy wants to hear from a girl

I was wrong....

"Come to the front gate of
 my apartment where u Drop me,
 Look for flat 9A,
 YOu wil find a lift on ur right..
 Hit 9 with ur ELBOW.....
 Get out of the lift
 YOu will find my flat on left....

Hit the Doorbell wid ur ELBOW &
I will open the door 4 u"

BF asks :  Dear that seems easy but..
                Why am I hitting buttons
                with my elbows?

GF : Oh My God ! Are u coming
       EMPTY HANDED ???

BF : (Speechless)

Don't kill yourself over a girl.. She'll get another guy to your funeral

So True

Once A Girl Asked Her Boyfriend : Why We Have Units To Measure Weight, Height And Distance But Not Love, Friendship And Trust ?

Boy Thought For A While
-
Took Her In His Arms,
Looked Deep In Her Eyes And Said,

Look, Don't Eat My Brain !
I Have Already Failed In Physics..

what is Difference between a man buying a lottery & a man arguing with his wife/girlfriend ?


Ans.  A man buying a lottery has a chance to win !!

$1 Million ring can do wonders for you!!

A Boy with a hot Girl entered in a jewellery shop & chose a ring worth $1 Million for her..
Gave a check & said he will collect ring on Monday after the check is cleared..
On Monday jeweler called boy: "There's no money in your account.."
Boy: "I know...... But can u imagine what a weekend I had..!!"

Man in bar: 1 large VODKA please.
Barman: $1, Sir
Man: What? Only 1? Can I have some kebabs please ?
Barman: Here Sir, $1
Man: Wow, that's real cheap, Can I meet the owner?
Barman: no sir, he is busy with my Girlfriend.
Man: what is he doing with your Girlfriend?
Barman: the same that I am doing to his business here..!:)

Last Thursday was my birthday.
My wife n kids didn't wish me.
I went 2 work,my friends dint wish me.
I entered my cabin, my Secretary said happy birthday boss.
I felt special !
She asked me for lunch.
After lunch she invited me 2her apartment. There she said, do u mind if i go to my bedroom for a minute?
Ok i said nervously. She came out few minutes after with a large cake
Followed by my wife ,kids & friends

& i was sitting there..

NAKED......!!!!!

Wife:-
Whenever I sing classical why do you stand in balcony?

Husband:-
 To ensure that our neighbors don't think, I'm not doing it forcibly..

A woman and her lover are in bed together when hubbie comes home. The woman jumps up, shaves the guy in a corner of the bedroom, rubs him down in baby oil and covers him in talcum powder.

'Don't move! You're a statue!'

The husband comes up to the bedroom and inquires about the new decoration. The wife explains that the Smith family next door acquired a statue for their bedroom recently, and if they could get one, so could she.

The married couple go to bed, but at midnight the husband goes downstairs, gets a glass of milk and some cookies, and comes back upstairs. He hands the snack to the statue and says, "Here. I stood around for 3 days at the Smiths', and they never fed me a thing!"