Teacher: Whoever answers my question can go home. Pappu throws his bag out of the window. Teacher: Who threw that bag. Pappu: I did, and now I can go right?

Boy: Mom I got only one answer wrong out of 30. Mom: Good, so your score must be 29. Boy: No mom, I couldn’t answer the remaining 29 at all.

Mom: Pray before you begin eating. Son: No, not today. Grandma has cooked food today, and she knows how to cook.

A kid calls his maths teachers house everyday. Teachers wife: I have told you 100 times that my husband is dead. Why do you call. Kid: Feels good to hear it!

Teacher: Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? Johnny: Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time.

Teacher: The people of turkey are called Turks, now tell me what are the people of Germany called? Student: They are called Germs.

Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it. Raju: I wont come, my mother will not allow me to go so far

Teacher: Draw A Diagaram Of Bacteria. Kid: Here It Is Sir. Teacher: Where? You Havent Drawn Anything Kid: Sir, Can you See Bacteria Without Microscope?

Birthday SMS For Sister In 140 Character,New Birthday SMS For Sister In 140 Character,Birthday Wishes For Sister In Hindi,Birthday SMS For Sister In 140 Words.

Sug@ndh!t Ho Jeev@n Tumhar@,

T@ron K! Ch@mk $e Bhar@ Ho Jeev@n Tumh@ra,

$ubh D!n Yeh A@ye,A@pke Jeev@n Me!n H@z@r B@@r,

Or Hum A@pko !! J@nmd!n Mub@rk !! Kehte Rhe H@r B@r..

Cute Birthday Messages For Friend,Birthday Messages For Friend,New Birthday Messages For Friend,Cute Birthday Messages,Latest Birthday Messages For Friend,Birthday Messages.

! Alw@y$ W!$he$ 4 @ $pec!@l Fr!end,

Who’d B Clo$e 2 My He@rt,

!t C@me True When ! Met U,

On Your $pec!@l D@y,

! W!$h 4 U,

M@y @ll Your Dre@m$, @nd

W!$hes Come$ True,

H@ve @ Very ..


***** H@ppy B!rthd@y *****

Birthday Wishes To Mom From Daughter,Birthday Wishes To Mom,Birthday Wishes To Mom From Son,Birthday Wishes To Mom In Law,Birthday Wishes To Mom From Kids.

1. Hey Mom, On Your $ec!al D@y M@y The N!ce$t & $weete$t $urpr!$e$ Come Ur W@y$. H@PPY B!RTHD@Y W!TH LOT$ @ LOVE.

2. C@r!ng, Luv!ng,Wonderful,$upport!ve & Thoughtful U R @ll The$e @nd More. Here’$ W!$h!ng U @ B!rthd@y. Th@t’$ Ju$t @$ $pec!al @$ U R.. H@PPY BIRTHD@Y

Best Happy Birthday SMS In 160 Words,Happy Birthday SMS In 160 Words,Birthday SMS In 160 Words,Free Birthday SMS In 160 Words,Best Happy Birthday SMS.

He@rt To He@rt T@lk$,

Wh!$per!ng Tho$e $weet Noth!ng$, &

Your $m!le$ Th@t $@y,

U Luv Me, $weethe@rt ! M $o H@ppy,

V Found E@ch Other,


***** H@PPY B!RTHD@Y MY LUV *****

Greeting SMS Messages For Birthday,Greeting SMS For Birthday,Greeting SMS Messages,Birthday Greetings For Facebook,Birthday Greeting SMS Messages.

1. ! M@y Not B By Ur $!de, Celebr@t!ng Ur $pec!al D@y W!th U, But ! W@nt U 2 Know Th@t ! M Th!nk!ng Of U, & W!$h!ng U @ Wonderful B!rthd@y.

2. W!$h!ng U @ Very H@ppy B!rthd@y My Be$t Fr!end M@y Ur @ll W!4he$ Become$ True On Th!$ $pec!al D@y.

3. W!th E@ch Ye@r ! W!ll Luv U More, Remember Th@t Ur Be$t Ye@r$ R $t!ll @head Of U & ! W!ll B There 4 Every Up$, Down & !n Between.

4. B!rthd@y R $o $pec!al They Come But Once @ Ye@r 2 Let U$ $hower More Luv & C@re On Tho$e V Hold $o De@r.... H@ve @ Wonderful D@y.

Funny Birthday Jokes One Liners Kids,Funny Birthday Jokes For Kids,Short Birthday Jokes,Funny One Liner Jokes,Birthday One Liner Jokes,Kids Jokes.

1. Santa: Wh@t’$ The E@$!est W@y To Remember Ur W!fe'$ B!rthday ?

Banta: Forget !t Once.


2. Santa: Why D!d The Boy Feel W@rm On H!$ B!rthday ?

Banta: Bec@use People Kept To@$ting H!m.


3. Santa:  What’$ The Be$t W@y To Get @ M@n To Remember Ur Ann!versary ?

Banta: Get M@rr!ed On H!$ B!rthd@y.


4. A D!plomat !$ @ M@n Who Always$ Remember$ @ Woman’$ B!rthd@y But Never Remembers Her @ge.


5. Santa: Why Couldn’t Preh!$tor!c M@n $end B!rthday C@rd$ ?

Banta: The $tamp$ Kept F@ll!ng Off The Rock$.


6. Santa: Why Do V Put C@ndle$ On Top Of @ B!rthday C@ke ?

Banta: Bec@use !t’$ Too H@rd To Put Them On The Bottom.

Nice Birthday Messages For Mother In Law,Birthday SMS For Mother In Law,Birthday Msg For Mother In Law,Birthday Messages For Mum-In-Law,SMS For Mother In Law Shayari.

1. Be!ng W!th U !$ $o Much Fun, W!$h @ $uperb Ye@r @head, Remember !t$ Ju$t Begun. H@ppy B!rthd@y De@r Mother-!n-L@w. W!$h!ng U He@lth & H@pp!nes$ @lway$.


2. U @lway$ Put Other$ F!r$t, Dear Mother-!n-L@w. $o Today Put Work Off, Put $ome Mus!c On, Put Your Feet Up & Rel@x On Your B!rthd@y. M@y U @lway$ B H@ppy & He@lthy.


3. Th@nk$ 4 M@k!ng Me @ P@rt Of Your F@mily, Th@nk$ 4 $h@r!ng & C@ring Too, ! M $o Fortun@te 2 B Rel@ted, To $omeone @$ Lovely @$ U, H@ppy B!rthday Mom !n L@w


4. De@r Mom !n L@w, Today ! W@nt 2 Th@nk U 4 @ll The $pec!@l Th!ng$ U Do, For Ur Lov!ng & C@r!ng W@y$, Ur P@t!ence & K!ndnes$. H@PPY B!RTHD@Y

Birthday Poems To Someone Special,Latest Birthday Wishes Poems For Someone Special,New Birthday Poem For Some One Special In English,Birthday Wishes SMS.

1. ! M@y Not Always$ Tell You,

Wh@t ! M Feel!ng Deep !n$!de,

The Emot!ons And The Feel!ng$,

That ! $omet!mes Tend To H!de,

But ! M Really Proud & Plea$ed,

To Know That You R M!ne, And

! Hope That You $t!ll Love Me,

My D@rl!ng Hu$band & V@lent!ne.



2. The $h!ne !n Your Beaut!ful Eye$,

 Rem!nd$ Me Of The Fir$t Day,

 ! Met You And Fell !n Love W!th You,

 Even Today When ! Look !nto Your Eye$,

 ! Keep F@ll!ng !n Love Over Aga!n And Aga!n.



3. A$ You Blow The C@ndles,

On Your B!rthday C@ke Today,

! M Th@nkful To God For,

 G!ving Me $uch A Lov!ng,

 C@r!ng And An Hone$t P@rtner.

 W!$hing You A Very,

W@rm & Lov!ng H@ppy B!rthday


*****  Happy Birthd@y  *****

2013 Birthday SMS For Husband In 160 Words | New Birthday Wishes For Husband In Hindi

Tumhaari Umar Sabsey Lambi Ho
Khuda Ko Kbhi Tumhaari Jarurat Ho
Ho Bhi Toh Mere Baad Ho
Humesha Tum Muskuratey Rho
Zindagi K Har Saal Yuhi Jete Rho.


Its A Nice Feel!ng When U Know
That $omeone Likes You
$omeone Th!nks About You,
$omeone Needs U
But !t Feels Much Better When
You Know Th@t Someone
Never Ever Forgets Your B!rthday.


Life !s Very Short
So Enjoy Every Moment
Dont Lo$e Your Confidence
Go Always Ahead
!! Happy Birthday !!

Priceless Date
ON A HOT DATE
Movie tickets-1500
Dinner-2000
car Fuel-500
coffee- 500
hotel room-5000
& your girlfriend says Shes on Periods
the smile on your face  -  PRICELESS!!

Relationship between lovers in today's age!!

"You can touch each other.,
but u cannot touch each others mobilez.! :p

I told her :
" I might not be rich, I have no money or villa or cars or companies like my friend Peter, but I love you and adore you.
She looked at me with tears in her eyes and hugged me like there was no tomorrow and whispered in my ears....If you love me...Introduce me to Peter !! Hahahaha

Boyfrnd rushes home:
Pack ur bag honey,.
I've won $10 Million in a lottery.
GF:Wow! Now
London or Switzerland?
BF:Who Cares?
U jst pack ur bag &
GET LOST..

Always remember:
When SHE cancels a date, it is because.."SHE HAS TO"

But When HE cancels a date, it is because..
"HE HAS TWO"

Every girl has a misconception about her first kiss with her BoyFriend
As a matter of fact,
she believes that while d kiss is on, d guy thinks in his mind,'oh my god..she's so beautiful..so vulnerable..so soft'.
However, d truth lies in d fact that he is thinking,
should i use my hands now or wait for d next time... ;)

Difficult to understand Girls
Few day's back when she called me i was having my food....she got angry that i didn't asked her to join me..

Today when she called i was taking my bath n i asked her to join, she was angry again!!..

Difficult to understand girls..

For years he thought he was damn good in bed,
till he found out
his girlfriend had asthma !

Best break up line by a girl:

" wanna see magic ? "

Boy:"yes sure"

Girl:"POOF you are single !!!"

You are said to be stupid
when you visit an ice cream parlor instead of a chemist when your girlfriend says ''i love chocolate flavor'' :p

A broken lover emotional line turned in a joke by his friends
Lover- I want her back :(


Friends- and what about her front ? :p

Gal: What do you think about our love? Boy: Try to count the stars in the sky
Gal: Awwww....It's infinite?!


Boy: No bitch! It's a waste of time

When two ppl start liking each other, who benefits the most, Boy or the Girl?

Is it the boy?
No.
.
Is it the gal?
No.
.
Den who?
.
.
Its the MOBILE service providers :p

Girl : Im not feeling well Today Boy : Oh! Thatz too bad, i thought of taking yu for shopping Today :/
Girl : I was joking ;)
Boy : Me tooo......:D

Girlfriend: Im getting fat...
Boyfriend: That's a stupid and ridiculous thing to say. You've always been fat. :p

Why do girls close their eyes when they kiss ???
Because they can never see a guy happy :O

Why are Men Impossible 2 please:
If he calls you & ur phone is off, he thinks u’re cheating…. then he sends a sms saying “don’t tell me d battery story coz I know dat line :s ”
.
If u TREAT him nicely, he… says u r crowding him,:$ ; If u Don't, he says u r PROUD ;) .
.
If u DRESS NICELY, he says u r trying 2 LURE other men
.
If u DON'T, he says u r RURAL
.

Girl to her ex-boyfriend: I saw something that reminded me of you...
but then I flushed the toilet.

"PLAYBOY" magazine has started a special edition for married men
It features the same woman every month!

Boy - lets play RAPE RAPE.

Girl - No, I'm not in the mood.

Boy - Thats the spirit.:p

A relationship has : A girl.. A boy..

an ex trying to mess it up..

& a 'friend' waiting for a break up...

Boy: Can I hold your hand?
Girl: No

Boy: Why ?
Girl: Because it hurts when you leave it

Boy in his mind: Baapre! I am acting but she is overacting.

Girlfriend : you're extremely rude! All the time I was talking, you kept yawning!
Boyfriend : I was not yawning. I was trying to say something...

Why women r complicatd

Bf- you are in a bad mood whats the matter with you?
Gf- nothing

Bf- is it something i said?
Gf- no

Bf- is it something i didnt say?
Gf- no

Bf- is it something i did?
Gf- no

Bf- is it something i didnt do?
Gf- no

Bf-is it something i said in casual reference to somethin i did when d thing i did shouldn't have been done or at least done differently with more concern for your feelings?

Gf-maybe

Bf- i knew it..

First day of school..boy sees a beautiful girl siting rite next to him and writes on a paper.. '' I love u,do you love me?'' and passes the paper to her.. she replies'no''.. He didnt giv up, he rubs her answer and passed it on to another girl and she replied yes..
Moral of the story:

Definitely not what you think..
Itz.....
'Save earth.. Recycle paper!

Examiner : Write Two Lines About Your Girl Friend...

Boy Friend : My Girl Friend Is My Right Hand...

And In Her Absence My Right Hand
Becomes My Girl Friend...!!!

Girl : Im warning you, my Mummy is coming back in half an hour..

Boy : But Im not doing anything..

Girl : Thats why I am warning you..
Hurry up !

The three magical words every Boy wants to hear from a girl

I was wrong....

"Come to the front gate of
 my apartment where u Drop me,
 Look for flat 9A,
 YOu wil find a lift on ur right..
 Hit 9 with ur ELBOW.....
 Get out of the lift
 YOu will find my flat on left....

Hit the Doorbell wid ur ELBOW &
I will open the door 4 u"

BF asks :  Dear that seems easy but..
                Why am I hitting buttons
                with my elbows?

GF : Oh My God ! Are u coming
       EMPTY HANDED ???

BF : (Speechless)

Don't kill yourself over a girl.. She'll get another guy to your funeral

So True

Once A Girl Asked Her Boyfriend : Why We Have Units To Measure Weight, Height And Distance But Not Love, Friendship And Trust ?

Boy Thought For A While
-
Took Her In His Arms,
Looked Deep In Her Eyes And Said,

Look, Don't Eat My Brain !
I Have Already Failed In Physics..

what is Difference between a man buying a lottery & a man arguing with his wife/girlfriend ?


Ans.  A man buying a lottery has a chance to win !!

$1 Million ring can do wonders for you!!

A Boy with a hot Girl entered in a jewellery shop & chose a ring worth $1 Million for her..
Gave a check & said he will collect ring on Monday after the check is cleared..
On Monday jeweler called boy: "There's no money in your account.."
Boy: "I know...... But can u imagine what a weekend I had..!!"

Man in bar: 1 large VODKA please.
Barman: $1, Sir
Man: What? Only 1? Can I have some kebabs please ?
Barman: Here Sir, $1
Man: Wow, that's real cheap, Can I meet the owner?
Barman: no sir, he is busy with my Girlfriend.
Man: what is he doing with your Girlfriend?
Barman: the same that I am doing to his business here..!:)

Last Thursday was my birthday.
My wife n kids didn't wish me.
I went 2 work,my friends dint wish me.
I entered my cabin, my Secretary said happy birthday boss.
I felt special !
She asked me for lunch.
After lunch she invited me 2her apartment. There she said, do u mind if i go to my bedroom for a minute?
Ok i said nervously. She came out few minutes after with a large cake
Followed by my wife ,kids & friends

& i was sitting there..

NAKED......!!!!!

Wife:-
Whenever I sing classical why do you stand in balcony?

Husband:-
 To ensure that our neighbors don't think, I'm not doing it forcibly..

A woman and her lover are in bed together when hubbie comes home. The woman jumps up, shaves the guy in a corner of the bedroom, rubs him down in baby oil and covers him in talcum powder.

'Don't move! You're a statue!'

The husband comes up to the bedroom and inquires about the new decoration. The wife explains that the Smith family next door acquired a statue for their bedroom recently, and if they could get one, so could she.

The married couple go to bed, but at midnight the husband goes downstairs, gets a glass of milk and some cookies, and comes back upstairs. He hands the snack to the statue and says, "Here. I stood around for 3 days at the Smiths', and they never fed me a thing!"

Date sheet of valentine weeks :D :D
7 Feb Rose Day
8 Feb Propose Day
9 Feb Chocolate Day
10 Feb Teddy Day
11 Feb Promise Day
12 Feb Kiss Day
13 Feb Hug Day
14 Feb VALENTINE's DAY
15 Feb Slap Day
16 Feb Kick Day
17 Feb Perfume Day
18 Feb Flirting Day
19 Feb Confession Day
20 Feb Missing Day
21 Feb Break Up

*If You Are In Love:
-Get The Best Of It
-Forget The Bad Things
-Enjoy It Because Nothing Lasts Forever

*If You Just Broke Up:
-Never Cry! Remember That You Were Happy
-Never Stay Alone! Your Frinds Are There
-Hug More People
-Stop Listening To Music! It Only Make Things Worse..

*If You Are Single & Alone:
-Play, Play 'n Play! Noone Can Blame You
-Enjoy Every Opportunity
-Never Stop Lookin For Someone..!

Why Does 'CUPID' Never Grow Up . . .?

Because
It Symbolizes That Love Never Gets Old.

And

Why Does He Throws Arrows To The Heart?

To Remind Us That True Love Hurts ... "

Do you know that beside valentine day,
the whole week (infact 2 weeks) is dedicated for various purpose,
have a look at the list below:-

7 Feb Rose Day
8 Feb Propose Day
9 Feb Chocolate Day
10 Feb Teddy Day
11 Feb Promise Day
12 Feb Kiss Day
13 Feb Hug Day
14 Feb VALENTINES DAY
15 Feb Slap Day
16 Feb Kick Day
17 Feb Perfume Day
18 Feb Flirting Day
19 Feb Confession Day
20 Feb Missing Day
21 Feb Break Up

Love is like playing the piano.
First you must learn to
play by the rules,

then you must forget the
rules and lay from your heart.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

Its d Month of
Kisses,Surprises,
Proposals n Dates,
Chocolates n Gifts,
Hugs n LuvSongs

It's feb..

Wishng u a Love filled
Valentine Month..!!

48+2 Members can sit in a Bus.
5+1 can sit in a Car.
3+1 can sit in a auto
1+1 can sit in a Bike.
Only 1 can sit in my Heart,
That's 'U' My dear valentine

To Give Pleasure To
A Single Heart By A
Single Act Is Better
Than A Thousand
Heads Bowing In Prayer

Love Is A Driver ...

Bitter And Fierce
If You Fight And
Resist Him,

Easy-going,
Once You
Acknowledge His
Power . . . :)

Love looks not with
the eyes
but
with the mind
and
therefore is
winged cupid painted
blind ... :)

~ shakespare ~

U r d beat of my heart
Lover of my soul
I'll never leave U
& never wanna U let go

U r d beat of my heart
d 1 that make me sing
d 1 who makes me smile
& I never seem to cry

U r d beat of my heart
d 1 I really love
Don't let me out of Ur sight
For I'm yours by heart

Happy Valentine's Day

What i need to live
has been given to me
by the earth..

Why i need to live
has been given to me
by you my valentine !!!

Happy Valentines Day

My Heart To You Is Given,
Oh Dear, Do Give Yours To Me,

We'll Lock Them Up Together
And Throw Away The Key :)

So Many Time
I Thought I'd Never
Find Sum1 To Love Me
d Way I Needed 2 B
Loved Then
U Came In My Life
&
Showed Me
Wh8 True Love
Really Is :)

Happy Valentine's Day

V....is for Valentine ; you are my only Valentine
A.....is for I will Always be yours
L.....is for Love at its most extreme
E.....is for Everlasting love ; Ecstatic love.
N.....is for Never-ending love
T.....is for we will Always be Together forever
I.....is for you being Intelligent and Innocent;
N....is 4 Natures naughty way of saying I luv you to
E.....is for Eternity our love is so ever lasting .

I don't understand why Cupid
was chosen to represent Valentine's Day.
When I think about romance,
the last thing on my mind is a short,
chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.

No poems no fancy words
I just want the world to know
that I LOVE YOU my Princess with all my heart.
Happy Valentines Day.

O my dear Valentine
Whats life ?
Life is love.
Whats love ?
Love is kissing.
Whats kissing ?
Come here and I show you.

C.L.I.C.K. means :

C= cant live without u
L= love u
I= i miss u
C= care about u
K= kiss from my heart 2 u
So whenever u miss me just say CLICK.

Don't wait until it's too late
to tell someone how much you love,
how much you care.

Because when they're gone,
no matter how loud you shout and cry,
they won't hear you anymore.

Happy Valentine's Day