Kid's dad joined facebook
Kid's status update: Dad on FB...WTF!!!! :X
Dad - what is wtf?? Kid - 'welcome to facebook' dad..:)

My x girlfriend's status on Facebook says:
Boy:My x girlfriend's status on fb says "standing on the edge of a bridge"
...

so,


i Poked her...!!!!

Facebook Legal Addiction
Facebook is the only
legal thing that you
can be addicted to!

You have to check it at least twice a day or you go crazy !

Funny truth:
 No one is as ugly as their Voters ID and License Pic, nor as good looking as their Facebook profile pic..;)

Fasting for New Generation:
Living One Day without

1. Mobile.
2. Vehicle.
3. Facebook.
4. Blackberry

Facebook Jealous Girlfriend
Boy: Baby are you jealous?
gf : No.
Boy: Baby are you jealous?
gf : No.
Boy: Baby are you jealous?
gf : I already told you, No!
Boy: Baby can I get a kiss?
gf : GO GET A KISS FROM THAT UGLY GIRL THAT LIKED YOUR STATUS ON FACEBOOK!
:p

Internet is turning into a Girlfriend
Facebook wants to know- "Whats on ur mind...?"
Twitter wants to know- "What's happening. ..?"
Foursquare wants to know- "Where u are...?"
Orkut wants U- "To say something. .."
The INTERNET is turning into a Girlfriend!:)

If animals have Facebook, these are most likely to be their Status Updates :
COCKROACH: "Managed to skip from some one’s foot step.. Man, I lead a dangerous lifestyle!"

Cat: "My 7th child is asking who is her dad. What shall I tell her??, I don’t even remember"

Mosquito: "I am HIV positive.. this is all due to wrong sucking"

Pig: "Oh gosh they throw the gossips
that I am spreading flu…WTF!! "

Goat : "Friends, don’t go out, Eid is coming soon"

Chicken: "If tomorrow there's no status update from my side, means I'm being served at KFC.:)

What are all the social networking site asking nowadays
Facebook asks..
"Wat's on your mind ?"

Twitter asks..
"Wats happening ?"

Bbm asks..'Status'?

Orkut asks..
"Where the hell did everybody go ?"

Clever Woman

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I will grant You three wishes.' The woman freed the frog,
and the frog said, 'Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish
for, your husband will get ten times more or better!'
The woman said, 'That's okay.'


For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, 'You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis who women will flock to.'


The woman replied, 'That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me.' So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world!  For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, 'That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you.' okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine.' So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!


The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, 'I'd like a mild heart attack.'

Moral of the story: Women are 'CLEVER'. Don't mess with them.





Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.













The man had a heartattack ten times milder than his wife!!!

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

Female Readers who are still reading: This again proves that women never listen to anything

A young woman several months pregnxnt boarded a bus.  She noticed a
young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her
condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved
again and then on her third move he burst out
laughing..................She had him arrested.

When the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he
acted in such a manner. His reply was: When the lady  boarded the bus I
couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She first sat under an
advertisement,

which read: 'Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins'.
I was even more amused when she changed her seat and went to sit under a
shaving advertisement,

which read: 'William's Stick Did The Trick'.

Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she
sat under an advertisement, which read: 'Dunlop Rubber would have
prevented this accident.'

The case was dismissed.........!!!

The most Dangerous Alphabet?
W

coz all WORRIES start with "W" Who? Why? What? When? Which? Whom? Where? War! Wine! Whisky! Women!

Most dangerous
WIFE!

A woman is like Bluetooth...
You are next to her, she stays connected. You go away, she finds new devices ;)

A man, however, is like wifi... Many devices can connect to him as long as he is not secured :P

Boy : Hi
Girl : What?
Boy : How are you?
Girl : Do I know you?
Boy : I'm rich...
Girl : Oh! Hi, My name is Rachel but you can call me "Baby". I'm 19 & I stay in Actonville ,I love short dark
men...especially like you...& I'm glad to meet you. So,
when are we going out?
.
.
.
Boy : No, no, no "Rich" is my name.
Girl : Sorry I don't talk to strangers...!!!haha

Dont u feel cheated and angry when u open a bag of chips & its only 30% full...?
Well,
Thats how Boys feel when they unhook a Padded Bra...!!

What do you call a wife who is sexy, beautiful, intelligent, understanding, caring, never jealous and a great cook?
A Rumor haha :D

1. Most important thing for women is FINANCIAL SECURITY  :/

2. Although this is important, they still go out & buy expensive clothes :O

3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have anything to wear :'(

4. Although they never have anything to wear, they always dress beautifully ;)

 5. Although they always dress beautifully, they are never satisfied

6. Although they are never satisfied, they still expect men to compliment them <3

7. Although they expect men to compliment them, when they do, they don't believe them!

'Ramazan teaches us self control, make us more humane & bring us closer 2 Allah. The spirit of working 2gter 2 assist those less fortunate is exemplary & contributes immensely 2 building compassion, selflessness, sacrifice unity & social cohesion. As Ramazan comes 2 end, I wishes u & ur family a very blessed & joyous
“EID ul Fittar”

''Is Baras Bhi Eid Guzar Gai Her Shaam Ki Tarha,,
Tera Naam Raha Mere Lab Pe Ek Sawaal Ki Tarha,,

Log Miltey Rahey Eid Per, Mujhy Kahan Hosh Tha,,

Teri Yaadon Ne Ghairey Rakha Ek Jaal Ki Tarha,,


Mustakbil Mein Bhi Dosto Mujhy Koi Eid Nazar Nahi Aati,
Mera Maazi Bhi Udaas Tha, Mere Haal Ki Tarha,,


Halaal-e-Eid Kya Hy? Ek Talwaar Hy Taiz Dhaar Ki Tarha,

Aur Teri Yaaden Bhi Hain Eid K Halaal Ki Tarha...!!''

'May the Guidance and
Blessings of Allah
be with you
and your family

Eid Mubarak!'

'HADEES E PAK :

*Sadqa-e-Fitar Wajib hay.*
(Tirmizi,
J#2, P#151, H#674)'